He Said She Said Series #4
Meeting the family and when to talk dirty.
By Mike Reid & Bianca Teixeira
The 'He Said She Said Series' is back! This series features Mike Reid and Bianca Teixeira as they answer readers' questions about relationships, style and everything in between. They've written together for various Canadian publications and last year started a video series by the same name. Now they're back at it, answering your questions at Good Read Magazine.
If you’re hesitant to meet your partner's parents, does that imply your lack of interest in commitment? – Family Ties
Mike: No, it means you're not ready to include formal family introductions into the
current stage of your relationship. If you NEVER want to meet someone's parents...
that's a problem. Although, there's nothing wrong with wanting to keep things awesome
and simple for a little longer. Meeting parents is typically:
1) They love you - Awesome... are they planning our wedding flower arrangements?
2) They hate you - Dad hate: You can change his mind based on your job, hobbies or
how you treat his daughter/son. Mom hate: You're screwed.
3) They're indifferent. - They don't see their son/daughter keeping you around... wait,
Bianca: It depends on what stage of the game you're at. Don’t want them to accompany
you on your first date? Absolutely reasonable. Still refusing to meet them when you’re
about to birth their first grandchild? Not cool. After it’s been a while, I think you need
to ask yourself why you don’t want to meet them. Is it because you don’t want to get
attached if you’re going to break up anyway? Or because you don’t want to see what
your partner will look like in 30 years? If it’s the first one, don’t do it. Otherwise, it’s
going to start looking questionable.
How do I introduce dirty talk into the bedroom, when I never have before? - Miss Purell
Mike: There’s a spectrum of dirty talk from, “Babe, that feels good.” to “Treat me like a @$*&, and &#%@ my #$@!”. The key is to start simple and to start positive. It's all about:
- Attitude. It’s obvious, but everything should come from a fun and safe place.
- Communicating things that make you feel good and/or that your partner is doing well.
- Asking for something you want to do or be done to you, that’s already part of your usual sexual routine.
- After, sharing something that was awesome and you want more of, that’s different or can be improved on. Ask them to HONESTLY share the same.
- Now that you’ve established a pattern of vocalising with a positive response, start saying the things that are in your head more. Repeat. You’ll be saying dirty things like, “Treat me like a lady, and hold my hand!” in no time.
Bianca: Dirty talk is terrifying to get into if it's not something you do on the regular. If it's something your partner already does then it will be easier to work it into your bedroom lingo. Take cues from your partner, if they keep repeating certain words or phrases then you know that's what they will want to hear from you. If you're going into the fold of dirty talk blindly (aka it's never been brought up in the bedroom before) you might want a discussion beforehand just to lay down some ground rules.
Know which words are sexy and which ones will have your partner heading for the hills. We all have a short list of words that we don't want to hear in ANY setting. Know what they are so one doesn't slip out and ruin the mood. Besides that, your best bet when starting out is to just tell your partner exactly what you want and where. Sexily....not clinically.
Send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org with the Subject: '#HSSS', and we'll try to get them answered by Bianca and Mike. (Please note, not all questions are answered and/or published.)