He Said She Said Series #2
Escaping the Friend-Zone + Approaching Girls IRL
By Mike Reid & Bianca Teixeira
The 'He Said She Said Series' is back! This series features Mike Reid and Bianca Teixeira as they answer readers' questions about relationships, style and everything in between. They've written together for various Canadian publications and last year started a video series by the same name. Now they're back at it, answering your questions at Good Read Magazine.
Is there any way out of the friend zone? - Mill House
MIKE: Yes, actually be the person's friend, stop pining and move on. You're either meant to be friends, something more or nothing, but lying is creepy. Yes, you're lying and yes it's creepy. Put it this way: Are you counting on someone's trust that you're honestly a platonic friend and confidant, while secretly pursuing an agenda to sleep with or date them? You're trying to trick someone with the illusion of friendship for your own sexual or emotional gain. To all the girls and guys out there, that's just creepy. No one is obligated to like you, just because you like them. Yup, movies have lied to us all!
BIANCA: Guys who hate being friend zoned are literally the worst. Literally. The. Worst. Either stop being her friend because (Mike, I agree) it's insanely creepy if while she's telling you all about her terrible day at work, you're just picturing her naked. Or you can always strap on a pair and tell her how you feel and see what she says. But I feel like the second option isn't your strong suit.
I hate trying to hit on a girl at a bar when she's surrounded by her friends. It's impossible! How can I separate her from the pack and score a number? - Striking Out
MIKE: I see your dilemma, you don't know what the dynamic is: Is there a cock blocking mother hen? What's the theme of the night: "I hate guys" or "Let’s all get laid, except Jen ‘cause she’s married"?
First option: Bring support, one or more wingmen allows you to divide and conquer.
Second option: If you are alone or want to go in alone, I'm a fan of unadulterated honesty.
1) Address the group: "Hi ladies, I'm _______. I was wondering if I could talk to your beautiful friend here for a moment. So I figured I'd face the unknown dangers of a group of women and introduce myself. What are your names?"
2) If you're crap with names, remember: The first girl to offer her hand and name will be the most outgoing or opinionated. Remember her name and say it again later in conversation. Her voice might carry weight.
3) DO NOT OFFER ANYONE A DRINK. Attempting to buy attention with a $6 - $15 beverage is what chumps do.
4) Take her hand last and position yourself during introductions so you’re close to her, or during the introduction bring her closer to you.
5) Leave the group WITHOUT asking for her number. Go back to your friends or make a phone call. Excuse yourself and smile at the girl as you leave.
6) The rest is eye contact, if she doesn't leave her safety net and come to you, go back and talk to her friends while mainly looking at her.
7) Get her number MID-CONVERSATION, not near the end. Good luck.
BIANCA: Grow a pair and stop treating her like a gazelle.
Send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org with the Subject: '#HSSS', and we'll try to get them answered by Bianca and Mike. (Please note, not all questions are answered and/or published.)
* Thumbnail image by Christopher Campbell