He Said She Said Series #13
1st Dates and Getting Freaky
By Mike Reid & Bianca Teixeira
This series features Mike Reid and Bianca Teixeira as they answer readers' questions about relationships, style and everything in between. They've written together for various Canadian publications and started a video series by the same name. Now they're back at it, answering your questions at Good Read Magazine.
"When do you start doing all the "freaky" things you like to do in bed with a new dude/dudette? Whips and chains for third date cool?" – Safe Word
Mike: Great question! It comes down to when you’re comfortable with that person. It helps if you set a precedent of being open and honest about what turns you on. Drop a few hints about being spanked or that you like wearing bear suits. This way it makes sense when you come to the bedroom with electrical tape, dish gloves and gummie bears.
Bianca: I don't know if I'd go all in on a third date....I think it depends on what you did on the first and second! Definitely bring it up in a timely manner so your paramour doesn't have to choose between the person he's fallen in love with and having his nipples live a life clamp-free. You might have noticed that both Mike and I have alluded to when the best time to ASK would be. Your question is about when to DO....ask the person first, will you?
"What's the best destination for a first date?" - First Impressions
Mike: That depends on how you met, there are two types:
1. STRANGER: dating site/app, bar, friend hookup, etc. Anyone you don't have a preexisting relationship with gets the "drink treatment". Public place, 1-2 drinks and a predetermined deadline. "I'm so busy saving Columbian dolphins from high coffee prices, but I'd love to grab a drink between work and volunteering." You can leave if it's a bad date or leave them wanting more if it's good.
2. ESTABLISHED: Friends becoming something more, co-workers (don't do it), acquaintances, etc. These people are worth sharing a meal with; who we share meals with is important for bonding... trust me. Also, have home court advantage, a local bar, your favourite restaurant, the lil' place where they make the thing. It'll make everything more comfortable, and it never hurts to be somewhere people recognize you.
Now, go be Legen- wait for it. D-a-r-y!
Bianca: Public place for sure. Those movies and shows that depict people getting whisked away to remote, romantic locales are only plausible if you're guaranteed that your date won't have any awkward silent moments. That's when you need the hustle, bustle and background noise of a bar or restaurant to fill the silence. And have something to talk about when you've run out of stuff to say. "Holy crap, did that guy just eat his oyster with the shell??"
Send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org with the Subject: '#HSSS', and we'll try to get them answered by Bianca and Mike. (Please note, not all questions are answered and/or published.)