He Said She Said Series #1
Women & Men as Friends + Giving Your BF Chances
By Mike Reid & Bianca Teixeira
The 'He Said She Said Series' is back! This series features Mike Reid and Bianca Teixeira as they answer readers' questions about relationships, style and everything in between. They've written together for various Canadian publications and last year started a video series by the same name. Now they're back to answering your questions at Good Read Magazine.
Is there some unspoken rule, women really shouldn’t expect to hang out with men without sending mixed signals? – Ms. Signals
MIKE: There is no rule. I have a bunch of female friends, some are trusted confidants. Hell, a few were awesome wing-women! Also, my friends are pretty hot, but I'm mature (Bianca don’t laugh) enough to have a relationship with people that has nothing to do with gender. If you are interested in someone, don't hide behind the pretense of friendship. That's just creepy, and women aren't down with that.
BIANCA: (Sorry Mike, I laughed) Of course women can have male friends that they’re not sexually interested in. Does that stop all men from thinking that a light hand on their forearm means you want the D? Of course not! If your male friend is relatively new to your circle, a quick ‘drinks/lunch/hangouts as friends’ line should be dropped casually.
How many chances should I give my man if the issues are minor? - Chance the Repeat
MIKE: Sounds like your man is once again Employee of the Month! Let me ask you, why do you keep giving Captain Screw up so many chances? For the record, "because I love him." is a horrible answer. If he just keeps repeating the same issues over and over again, the problem is you. You keep letting him do the same things without meaningful consequences. So the answer is, infinite chances. Or until you realize that a man's behaviour doesn't change unless there's a need for it to.
BIANCA: What kind of issues are we talking here? If by minor you mean "always leaves the seat up and I don't realize until my ass touches the cold porcelain" then I think you can give him as many chances as you want. Or by minor do you mean "he yells and calls me stupid but apologizes right after"? You have to ask yourself what you deem 'minor'. If it's something small and goofy that can honestly be looked past, then whatever, you decide how long you can put up with it before you try to smother him with a pillow. But if what you're calling minor is something more serious (like cheating, abuse, etc), then I think we both know exactly how many more chances should be extended: 0.
Send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org with the Subject: #HSSS and we'll try to get them answered by Bianca and Mike. (Please note, not all questions are answered and/or published.)